Letting go

The difficulty level of letting someone go is different if you were actually in a relationship or if you just had a crush on someone. However, the process is the same:

1. Get closure.

When you are attracted to someone, you see them as a potential boyfriend/husband that you are willing to take the risks of getting hurt when you express your feelings to them. There is no harm in taking risks. If you don’t take the risk, you will never find out if he could be the one and that will cause more regret than if you were to be rejected. If you have done letting that someone know your feelings, make sure you know for sure where their position is. If they have rejected you, then realise that this “potential” is broken and you will never get it back. Make both your brain and your heart realise it. Even if you will continue to be friends, you should realise that you are never to delude yourself into thinking that he is a “potential” anymore. That is because once he rejects you, he has let go of that “potential” as well if he has ever seen you as one.

2. Make a decision: Stay or Move On

Realise that there is no getting back. You can only stay in that position or move on. While it is okay to stay in that position for a while to cry about it, staying in that position for too long will only lead to stagnant in growth or possibly make you worse. Therefore, I encourage you to write it down as experience, learn from it and move on to other stages in your life.

3. Plan what you want to do next.
If you truly am attracted to that someone, you would need some time to get over him. So, keep busy by focusing on yourself. What do you want to do next? Plan it, focus on that and keep busy!

4. Don’t talk about it.

It is tempting to go and tell your friends about what has happened because you need the emotional support. However, do refrain yourself from talking about it. That is because you will only remind yourself of him or how “devalued” you feel from being rejected. If you do think about him though, just cherish the memories. There is nothing wrong with that – but do remind yourself that the “potential” is gone and you can’t turn back time anymore.


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