Discussion about ideas

It is fun listening to other people’s theories and concepts. It really opens up your mind. Being able to discuss and incorporate your ideas to his or her ideas is even better because both people will come up with the best plans and ideas.

I have a friend I could share, listen and discuss theories with. However, things do not always turn out nice. There are times when we cannot reach a conclusion at all. Sometimes, our mind is closed off and we are only looking at our perceived reality shaped from our previous experience or theories generated in the past. When both people aren’t willing to listen because they are blinded by their “perceived reality” or emotions, it is important to take a step back and learn to be objective again. Always remember, what others say is their perceived reality. You do not have to accept it, you just need to listen, reflect, think about it and decide if it fits in your values as a person.

Of course, if your values do not match, it does not mean that the other person is wrong. Their experience and their thinking is shaped in such a way that their own theories makes the most sense. It will help them in their life, it’s just that the theories isn’t necessarily going to help in your life.

Loneliness

Sometimes, being single makes one really lonely. This is especially so in my case since I don’t really have much close friends and my relationship with my family isn’t that good either. The reason why this is so goes back to my childhood, most of which is filled with painful memories of being bullied both at home and in school. Due to my past, I have always turned to love. Always searching out for “the one” and sometimes, doing some things I later regret in exchange for some social security.

When I feel lonely, I start to feel insecure about whether anyone will ever love me in the future, if I’ll get a husband and sometimes, I feel so detached that I think that no one likes me at all. I then close myself off and hope to be alone for hopefully eternity. At least, I’ll have some sort of consistencies, right? I thought.

I realise I have issues. I turned to my friend asking for solutions. His response was for me to be grateful and appreciative of whoever is in my life at that time. Another friend once told me to be more social, to open up to strangers as he’s felt a bubble around me that he had to break before I let him in.

Those are reasonably good solutions but I guess I am too selfish to do just that. I needed a place to belong. I don’t want to mix around with people and then lose them.

This loneliness disappeared pretty much the next day. I felt truly at peace with myself then. It feels like the moment after a suffocating relationship where you feel absolutely grateful that you are single once again. For it was that time when you can truly reconnect with yourself, when no one’s opinion matter at all except for your own’s. It was the time when you can do everything you have ever wished to do but never did because other people are a distraction, will judge or decided that you are supposed to be doing something else. It is a fantasy world, where nothing matters except for you, your mind and your own wishes.

Of course, what I just said is a selfish behaviour. And I do understand that other people matter too. It is just that the next time I feel lonely, I’d like to remind myself of all the wonderful things I could do because I am alone.

NOT Love at First Sight

Love at first sight. I have had three of these and I am only 20. This just proves one thing. It doesn’t exist.

You see, our parents, movies and love stories has fed us with this myth that love at first sight exist when we were little. So when one first felt attraction to someone at first sight, they immediately jump into the conclusion that it is love! That was a mistake I made at the age of 12 and I hope to share this with everyone else so they don’t wait for the guy for 4 years like I did and ended up so heartbroken, I was almost dying.

Anyway, this “love at first sight” is actually physical attraction. It may go one way or both ways. He may be good looking, may look normal or even ugly. It doesn’t matter. It is all just physical attraction, not love. And you will experience physical attraction multiple times in your life. So don’t get them mixed up.

So what is the difference between love and physical attraction? Hmm… I don’t believe in the existence of romantic love but personally, I think romantic love should consist both mental and physical attraction… But then again, I felt both for a friend of mine and it’s still not love… I’ll give you an answer if I find love in this lifetime. Physical attraction is much easier to explain. Basically, physical attraction is when a person look so good you can’t take your eyes off them. It could be physical outlook or even the way they do things (hence, people fall for stars when they perform). At the very least, you would want to look at them as much as you want. At most, you want to touch and sex them. I know it sounds weird coming from a girl, but it’s just the way things work. I am not denying my sexuality.